The Valley of Shame

Welcome to the Valley of Shame! This is a showcase of the worst & disaster customs that I have created over the years. Most of these are from when I first started out in 2006-2008. Some of them sounded like a good idea at the time and some just went terribly wrong! I have an extensive 5+ year library full of some very memorable (and terrible) customs. Most customizers only want to show their good stuff, not on my Blog! I want to show off my most embarrassing & disastrous customs for a few laughs! So without further adieu, lets get started:

Updated 5/19/11

2006 (Year 1)  - Valley of Shame Entries:

"Sith Sock Monkeys"
KOTOR was still a hot Star Wars game around 2006. The game was great and had plenty of generic Sith Warriors pitted against your hero. The line at the time was Sith Lord light, so it was a natural impulse to make some of these generic Sith Ninjas to fight your Jedi. I cobbled together some evil looking warriors then used a black shirt to make their sinister Sith Robes! The end result was very underwhelming, they ended up looking like Sith Sock Monkeys!

"Marshmallow Mask" Darth Nilhilus
Warhammer Green stuff, it's a superb & durable sculpting putty perfect for customs. My first experiment with it was making the much desired Darth Nilhilus. In the end my first attempt  was not that desirable as he appeared to be roasting marshmallows with his face to close to the camp fire.

My first Iktotchi Sith Lord
My sinister outfit matches my skin, RAH, fear me! 
(In the first shot he looks like he was caught by surprise eating black paint.)

"Toupee Touting" K'kruhk
The only Whipid figure, J'Quille, at the time was the best foundation to make the mighty Jedi Master K'kruhk. Feeling much more confident in my sculpting ability what better way to prove myself than sculpt some hair on a bald figure. While not as dreadful as the marshmallow faced Nilhilus, it ended up looking like a toothy alien wearing bad toupee. (He also ended up looking frumpy). This was the only K'kruhk I ever made. Surprised?

Tar Sierr
At the time the 2003-2005 Clone Wars animated series was all the rage. There were so many characters that fans wanted to see made, I tried to help. Like the above K'kruhk above my Tar Sierr did not have a desirable outcome. He look like a younger Ki-Adi Mundi with a lumpy band aid on his head. The Grevious figure is doing what should be done to this figure...

Voolvif Monn
Another terrible entry to my continuing animated Clone Wars series is the Shistavanen Jedi Voolvif Monn. Old Voolvie was a real trendsetter among the Jedi for his clothing sensibility. Vinyl robes and fat hiked up fanny pack belts were all the rage. Voolvie was always ahead of the trends....

"Sith Bith"
The Bith alien is one of the most non shallot aliens in the SW universe, an aggressive nature does not seem to fit their mold. After all, just look at the size of their swollen noggins, they would be a very easy bulbous target! Making one into an evil Sith Mime was never a good idea but I apparently thought it was. (What better way to increase his menacing appearance than with 1980's Dreadnok Football shoulder pads!) Look out Jedi the Sith Bith is here!

2007 (Year 2)  - Valley of Shame Entries:

Bastilla Shan in "Velvet attire"
Man, this one is a real tragedy. It went wrong, horribly wrong. I knew this was a disaster as it was unfolding before my eyes. The yellow paint was rubbing off at the joints, it was getting messy and my brilliant solution to salvage this: textured outfit accents! I had an old AD&D dice bag laying around that happened to be the right colors for Bastilla Shan, so maybe, just maybe it could help save this custom. Whoever bought this….I am so sorry……….

Tarr "The Squash" Sierr
I let you figure this one out.

Jedi Master "Kermitta"
Yikes! His arms are too long, his feet are too small and he looks like a Muppet brought out of a storage bin. I must say, I really did a superb job of matching the skin color of the neck! (BTW - This Master piece could not even stand without assistance.)

Darth Flannel (George Lucas - Sith Lord)
I have no explanation or excuse for this.

"Granny Sith Apples"
On the positive side, at least this version does not look like a Sock monkey! Maybe he had a tooth ache. (I wish this custom had the umbrella and bag from the Henry Jones figure. The old Baba look would have been complete! I also would replace the saber with a long loaf of Italian bread.)

2008 (Year 3)  - Valley of Shame Entries:

"Wookie Nookies"
After a suggestion from my sister-in-law to make a female Wookie Jedi, I decided to take a crack at it. Rest assured this is a one of a kind. Oh, those eyes, those lashes…….oh those furry woobies.

"Jedi Master Meathead"
I really liked the head sculpt of a Corps figure I came across. I like it so much I wanted to defy aesthetics and reality by pretending the head was not too big. Enter the mega meathead might of Kyp Durron!!! In a bright blue tunic, he uses the Force to balance himself from falling over. (BTW - To help offset his huge noggin I used the extra large meat palm hands of ROTS Bail Organa.)

"Why Bothan?"
No Bothan figure. No problem! I have the perfect goat head with neatly combed, parted hair that will cure your need! 
"Many Bothans died laughing at this custom………"

 Jorus "The Wife Beater" Sabboth
Rip Van Winkle in a tank top. Nice bling! Did you blow up the Death Star?

Khaki Pants Aztec Jedi 
It was exciting to get new parts to work with when the Indiana Jone toy line hit but I must have been low on parts and desperate to make something because there is just no excuse for this atrocity.

I am very positive that if Lord Kaan saw this Githany he would be very much mortified and very happy to see her disintegrated by a Sith thought bomb. This figure was a request by eBayer that was never fulfilled. I knew at the time how terrible this really was andI never let it leave the trash can I threw it in. I did not even want to salvage any parts from it. Despite this being the valley of shame I was close to keeping this under wraps...

Wampa Jedi
I have made just about every alien into a Jedi of some sort over the years.I became quite known for that niche'. So it was never a surprise when I got requests for one that I missed. Well one of those was a Wampa. I am not sure a Wampa could ever be trained as a Jedi as it would probably try to eat and kill everything in its path. I am not one to leave money on the table for a solid sale so I made one for the requester. For what it is it's not a horrible custom it's just a really stupid concept that deserves a spot in the Valley.

E.T (The Extra Terrible)
E.T. is angry and wants his Reese Pieces now! This dude falls in the same camp as the 2006 Sith Bith. (On a side note he is not terrible as many showcased here, he is just on the goofy side.)